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“Yeah, friends.” She gave him a warm smile and giggled.
Her laughter was magical, full of life and soothing, but it also enticed him, an emotion effortlessly provoked from the grasp of his ironclad control.
He doubted she was aware of the ease with which she tempted him. The wolf inside him begged and pleaded to claim her, but he couldn’t give in.
Because if he did, he could be thrown out of Sanctuary. If that happened, he might as well be dead because he was certain he’d never be able to walk away and forget about Melony.
While he’d only met her a few short hours ago, she was part of him now, ingrained in his soul forever. He’d rather stay and suffer never being able to touch her, possess her because at least then he’d be able to see her, hear her laughter, talk to her. If he were kicked out of Sanctuary? He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment while anger and fear blended together into a perfect concoction of anxiety, anxiety triggered by the mere thought of never being near her again. That only strengthened his resolve and control.
Until he was finished with his training—which would most likely end after he played teacher with Melony—he had to keep his hands off her. That includes your lips, tongue, and cock too. Maybe if he could prove he was fully reformed and would abide by ancient laws, do whatever it took to protect his kind, he’d be allowed to claim Melony. And he was reformed. He’d never allow harm to come to any potential mate again. He was a man now, not a boy, and he would no longer be intimidated by rogues.
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What if she doesn’t want a loser like you? Why did he keep torturing himself over his past? Was he really reformed if he couldn’t forgive himself? He didn’t want to contemplate the answer to that one because he wasn’t sure there would come a time that he would be capable of forgiving himself.
What was in the past was in the past, but in his case, what was in the past bit him in the ass every time he thought he was getting over it.
He needed to get over it, but he didn’t know how, and he couldn’t bring himself to talk to anyone about it, not even Karen. He was too ashamed, too angry, and too disgusted with himself to expose another to the unforgivable things he’d allowed to happen in his presence. Besides, if he couldn’t forgive himself, how could he expect anyone else to?
“Come on. Let’s get to the Learning Center. I have lots of questions, and we only have today and tomorrow to meet this week since Thanksgiving is on Thursday.”
“Oh yeah. I almost forgot about that.” How had he forgotten about that?
Melony. That was how. She seemed able to make him forget lots of things.
Stranger yet, the thought of the gathering didn’t seem as daunting as it usually did. Maybe that had something to do with Melony as well.
“I’m going to help out with the food. I’m not a very good cook, so I hope I don’t mess anything up. It’ll be fun, though. I’ve always wanted to learn to bake and all. Mom didn’t really show me much in the kitchen because she wasn’t a great cook either. Maybe I’ll pick up some pointers.”
He didn’t miss the flicker of pain in her eyes, and the need to comfort her pounded through him again.
“What happened to your mother?”
“She died in an accident.” Tears glistened in her eyes, and she looked away from him.
The way she broke eye contact and the way her words trailed off told him her mother’s accident was still a fresh wound and hard for her to talk about. What kind of accident had her mother been in? He didn’t want to push the subject at the moment because Melony looked as if she might burst into tears, and crying he couldn’t handle.
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“I’m sorry.” He hoped she didn’t think him insensitive for changing the subject, but he didn’t want her to be upset. “I could show you how to cook if you’d like.”
She stopped, and he wondered if he’d said something wrong when she turned and stared at him. He held his breath, and finally let it out when her lips slowly tilted upward in a smile.
“My, my. You are full of surprises, aren’t you? You can cook?”
He nodded. It was one of those things he hadn’t learned to do until he came to Sanctuary. Hell, until then, he’d scrounged for most of what he ate.
He’d never had a real home or place he could cook. Learning how to take care of himself had been something he’d enjoyed, right along with discovering the names of the trees and plants. Both gave him a sense of pride and comfort.
“That would be nice. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I can do most of the basics. You know, mac and cheese, spaghetti—sauce from a jar, of course—
easy things like that.”
“I can show you how to make sauce from scratch.” Damn it. He’d just scolded himself about keeping away from her as much as he could, and now he’d possibly committed himself to spending even more time with her.
She’d voiced something she wanted, and he immediately tried to give it to her, no questions asked. It was instinct for him to want to make her happy.
No, not only instinct. He needed to make her happy.
As the Learning Center came into view, he breathed a sigh of relief. At least here, others might be around off and on. It was difficult to be alone with her—walking through the woods, even sitting in her cabin watching her scribble a list—without touching her.
He opened the door for her, and after she entered, she spun in a slow circle while whistling long and low.
“This place is amazing.” She tilted her head up and studied the fifteen-foot beamed ceilings.
“All the buildings and cabins here are built by hand from the trees on the land. I helped with this building. Not much, because it was nearly done by the time I arrived, but I got to help with some finish work.”
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He agreed with her. It was amazing. It had no grand facade, but the vaulted ceilings, stained glass windows, and rustic lights and decor gave it an air of elegance and functionality—two things he’d never imagined would coexist with such ease.
She ran her fingers along a row of books—a row amongst many that lined the whole south wall—and smiled. “I love to read.”
“I love to read as well.” Another thing he hadn’t learned until he’d come to Sanctuary. It hadn’t been a necessity for his lifestyle before then, but it had been part of the reformation program.
At first, he’d scoffed at learning to read, but once he’d put his nose to the grindstone, he’d picked it up fast. He loved spending late nights lost in a story, imagining he was in the world created by the author right along with the main character. Sometimes he was the hero, and sometimes he was the villain. Reading had proven to be another welcome way to escape when things closed in on him.
“What will you teach me first, Lorent?” Melony wandered around for a few more moments before taking a seat at a long desk with a laptop at one end. “Wow. Can you actually get the Internet way out here?”
“Sometimes. The service isn’t exactly reliable, but we make do.” It took him a few seconds to remember that she was waiting for him to fill her in on the agenda, so lost was he in the simple act of looking at her. He cleared his throat. “I thought maybe we could just talk about some general things the first day. I could answer a few questions. We could do that tomorrow, too, and when Monday comes we can start with the self-defense since there won’t be another break until Christmas.”
“Sounds good. One thing that has been niggling at the back of my brain for a while . . .”
He nodded, and she continued on.
“It seems that all the potential mates I’ve heard about so far have been women. And all the rogues have been men. Don’t you ever find male potential mates or female rogues?”
“No. All male lycan are born lycan, and all potential mates are female. It’s not something we can explain, but it’s the way it�
��s been since anyone can 49
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remember. We’ve never heard of a female turning rogue once her mate changes her. In fact, we don’t think it’s possible. On the other hand, it’s not known if a rogue has ever found his intended mate either. If that were to happen, we haven’t a clue if the rogue would get more aggressive or if the natural instinct to protect and love his mate would aid in reformation.”
“Oh my. I never thought of that. That would truly be a sticky situation to be in.”
“Yes. It would be.”
What would he have done had he come across Melony before he’d come to Sanctuary? He wasn’t sure, but he did know one thing. He would have never hurt her, not physically. He may have taken her, believing it his right to do so, but might have never come to fully understand why the need had been so much stronger with her, would have never known it was because she carried the mated scent that only he could detect. Now that he was reformed, he understood that had he found her before Sanctuary and forced her to stay with him, she would have probably never forgiven him, probably grown to hate him.
Not to mention the fact that at that time he could not have protected her. How would he have kept her from the other rogues? He would have most likely unintentionally and naively led her right into harm’s way. The others would have taken her from him, abused her, and he would have had no way to stop them. In fact, the instinctive need to protect her would have probably ended up getting him and her both killed. His stomach curled at the thought, and he silently thanked fate for not bringing her to him when he was still a stupid child unable to take care of himself, much less a mate.
She frowned, and he wanted to smooth the lines from her face with his finger and then his mouth.
“I can’t imagine what it would be like to find the man I was destined to be with, only for him to subject me to violence. It would be heartbreaking.
What if a woman meets her mate and they don’t get along?” Her eyes glistened. “My God. You don’t force women to be with their mate if they don’t want to, do you?”
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She stood. Her skin paled, and she began to visibly tremble. He went to her and laid his hands on top of her shoulders.
“Melony?” He waited until she looked up at him. The bewilderment in her eyes nearly brought him to his knees. “No woman will ever be forced to do anything against her will while under the care of Sanctuary. We’ve never had an instance where potential mates rejected one another. Well, let me rephrase that. We’ve never had an instance where potential mates rejected one another, but didn’t work things out willingly in the end, without force.
“I won’t lie. It is difficult at best for a male to control his need to claim his mate once he encounters her.” Didn’t he know it. “I’m not sure what would happen if a female flat-out rejected her mate. It’s never happened here, and if it did, the woman’s rights would be respected. I don’t know what the ultimate outcome would be for the male, because while the man may understand that his mate has rejected him, the wolf will insist upon taking what belongs to it.”
“Oh. I hope that never happens. That would be sad.”
He nearly groaned, and barely resisted the urge to crush her to his chest and assure her that he would never let any harm come to her. He wanted to hold her and promise to take care of her always, but he couldn’t. And now he’d just opened a whole new can of worms for himself.
What would happen if he forced his wolf, himself, to stay away from Melony? Would his wolf win out in the end?
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Chapter Seven
Melony gnawed at her bottom lip for a few seconds before realizing she was doing so yet again and stopped. Lorent was a beautiful man, and she wondered if he was aware of the effect he had on her when he looked at her with those gorgeous hazel eyes. She stared up at him, and even though she barely knew him, she was absolutely certain he had told her the truth. As long as she was at Sanctuary, she’d be safe. But another thought occurred to her.
“I won’t ever be able to leave here again, will I? Not if I truly want to be safe. Don’t get me wrong. I have no plans to leave anytime soon. I want the people at Sanctuary to be my family, need a place to belong, but what if one day I decided I’d like to go to Ireland or see the Pyramids or Stonehenge or go to Easter Island? Would I be allowed to do so?”
“Melony, I don’t think that’s something you need to be concerned about at this moment. We’ll cross that bridge if and when it comes. I can assure that you are not a prisoner here, but you do need to realize that this is the safest place for you. Sanctuary is still new as well, working out all the kinks, but no one is kept here against their will. I’m sure if you decided to trek around the world, you would be allowed to do so. I’m certain I can say that you would have a guide, though.”
She sat back down feeling a bit better about not being a prisoner. She hadn’t really given much consideration to such a thing to begin with, but she hadn’t thought things through thoroughly up to this point either. If she wanted to belong here, fit in, she had to trust that her safety was and likely would always be an issue.
“If rogues are so bent on creating such chaos, why don’t they just turn a bunch of people and create their own army to fight you?”
“Only potential mates can be changed, which is an exceptionally fortunate thing considering the concern you just raised.”
“Yeah, I guess it is, indeed.” She’d wanted to know these things, but it was all intimidating and frightening to her. “So you are telling me that if a 52
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rogue gets to me, he can bite me and change me against my will?” She gulped and swallowed hard.
Lorent sat next to her. “I can’t imagine what it is like for you to be learning all of this, as I’ve lived with it my entire life, but you are safe here. I promise I will never let anything happen to you.”
She forced a smile to her lips. She believed he meant everything he said, but he could never be certain he’d be there to protect her in every situation that might arise. Life was too unpredictable, and she knew that as well as anyone. She turned to him.
“Lorent, I believe, if possible, you would protect me in any harmful situation I might find myself in, but I don’t expect you to be able to protect me from everything. No one can promise a thing like that.”
“I can.”
She reached out to him and took his hand in hers, not missing the way he stiffened under her touch. Did he not like it when she touched him? She watched him for signs that might indicate he didn’t enjoy her touch, but she didn’t detect any. In fact, she got the impression he liked her to touch him, but maybe wasn’t sure exactly how to respond to her. He’d made such a big deal about not touching her on their walk to the Learning Center, maybe he wasn’t supposed to touch her. Maybe it was one of the rules here at Sanctuary.
“Lorent? Do you not like it when I touch you? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable in any way.” She kept his hand enclosed in hers, waiting for him to respond, refusing to let go unless he told her he didn’t want to touch her, not that he wasn’t supposed to touch her. If he didn’t want her touch, so be it, but she’d be damned if she followed some rule that said he couldn’t touch her because she was a potential mate.
Friends casually touched one another all the time. Yet she couldn’t deny that his touch evoked a bit more than friendly feelings in her. He was gentle, and he turned her on with his intensely quiet nature. But she wasn’t fooled by that calmness either, as she didn’t miss the way the predator lurked in him, or the way he kept control over it when it got too close to the surface. She’d seen the way he’d watched her when he thought she wasn’t looking, and if 53
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she wasn’t mistaken, friendship had been the furthes
t thing from his mind as well. Yet at every turn, he closed down around her, refused to let her get too close.
But all that could be between them was friendship. While she was fairly certain she was capable of feeling more for him, she wasn’t for him. Someday he would find his mate, and where would that leave her? Or, someday she might find her mate, and where would that leave him? She imagined the hurt she might feel from his rejection, and she never wanted to inflict such hurt on him either.
She couldn’t fathom falling in love with someone only to have them walk away at some point for someone else. While she understood that a force of nature like fate might not give him or her a choice in the matter if one or the other’s soul mate were to happen along, she couldn’t come to terms with giving someone her heart only for them to reject it, no matter the reason.
Lorent was a man any woman would be lucky to have, and if she allowed herself to do so, she’d fall hard for him, but did she want to risk subjecting her heart to the pain of him possibly leaving her?
She’d only known him for a short time, but she could see beneath his shy exterior enough to know he was a kind man by nature. She could see him capable of that fierce, but tender love most women only dreamed about. If Lorent ever gave his heart to someone, it would be a forever thing, and she didn’t wish to put him in a situation where he might have to choose between loyalty and his soul mate.
Yet, she’d feel the same way. If she gave her heart to Lorent, she couldn’t imagine ever walking away from him for any reason, even her soul mate.
Could she hurt him like that? And if she chose to turn her back on her soul mate, the decision would forever remain a lurking shadow of doubt between them. No. It was best if she didn’t let her feelings go beyond friendship. She had to be careful, but she did want to be there for him.
He was a walking contradiction. On one hand, he was open with her about basic things like nature, reading, and cooking, and displayed genuine concern for her feelings, yet he didn’t seem to know how to open up or share 54